Friday, March 30, 2012

"Rools," by Little Miss

[Read with one hand on her hip and the other hand chopping the air with every word.]

1.  Everything has to be fair:  if he gets 3 cookies, then I get 3 cookies.  If he doesn't need a bath, then I do not need a bath.  If you're going to carry his backpack, then you have to carry mine, too.

2.  If I cry really hard, and hiccup a lot, I should get what I want.  Especially with daddy.

3.  No teasing me, no embarrassing me, no lecturing me, no bossing me, no correcting me, no complimenting me, no looking at me....

4.  Definitions:
'later' means 'now';
'next day' means 'anytime in the future';
'last day' means 'anytime in the past';
'the thing around the thing' means...well, it's your fault you do   not understand me!

5.  You must drop everything to listen to what I have to say, even if I say obscure definitions like  'the thing with the thing that's big, and, you use it for the thing', and even if I say it three times.

6.  What you are doing is not as important as what I need you to do.

7.  I may be 5 1/2, but in my mind I am 36, and must be treated as such.

8.  Any colours go with pink.

9.  Hair does not need to be brushed.  If I wet it down, that is enough.

10. I know where everything is, what the answer to everything is, and who's responsible for every mess, even if I only just woke up.

And that's a wrap!  Have a great week!

Erin

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Little Miss, in Disguise!

Happy Spring!

Yesterday Little Miss and I made butter cookies, ["For us?" she asks. "Yes!" I answer.] and are decorating them for Easter.  We bought beautiful tulips from the local florist last week, (I picked yellow and she picked purple), and we are crafting easter baskets from the dollar store.  Anything to avoid spring cleaning...




I am presently working on another story about Little Miss, but until then why don't you pop by my cake site and think about how YOU eat a cupcake!  


Thursday, March 22, 2012

Venting

I am not a salesperson, I am an artist.  I want to hide out in my studio and make beautiful things.  Things that make me smile, make my heart flutter, and make me feel proud of myself.  Art is difficult since not everyone understands it.  They do not understand how long it takes to make something.  They do not understand the cost of materials, or how hard it is to work with that medium.

Don't tell me it is too expensive, or your aunt could make it cheaper.  Don't tell me your 15 year old son could make it.  This is my art, my pleasure.  I will grab it all, hold it close, and sell nothing, instead of stand here and listen to you dismiss my talents.  You think because you are old you have the freedom to say what you like.  You are mistaken.

I am home again in my beloved shop.  The air is warm and cosy, the colours are welcoming, the sun is bright.  My tools are ready.  I smile.  I love to work with my hands.  I have strong hands, my daughter says.  And you can't put a price on those.



Friday, March 16, 2012

Kijiji Ad: ONE FREE DOG

Today I went for a walk - three times.  Once with my two kids and the dog, once with my two kids and an empty dog leash, and once with my two kids, my husband, and the dog looking forlornly at us through the fenced-in yard.

Sigh.  Dogs.  You love them and they love you.  You hate them and they love you.

Do you remember my story of our date night? When all we did was search for our dog, and by the end of the terrible evening, we still didn't find him?

We found him the next day in the POUND!  He looked pitiful.  And of course I started to cry.  I hate that I started to cry.  Most days I want him to disappear, and the one time he does, I cry with relief when I find him.  I hate that.

We should've known he was a runner since the first day we got him eight and a (long) half years ago.  We brought him home, just 1 1/2 yrs old, with his sad, dark eyes, sleek fur and happy smile.  The next day he jumped through a small window, right through the screen, and disappeared down the road.  Our neighbour eventually found him and brought him back.

The following week while we had company over, he escaped, and we spent our evening driving around town looking for him.  He was waiting for us when we got back home. "Where'd everybody go?" he asked.

I have written and rewritten the Kijiji ad SO MANY TIMES, that I have it memorized:

FOR FREE: one ten-year-old black lab-retriever mix, male, indoor/outdoor dog needing constant companionship, a warm place to sleep and a high fence.  Will pay for allergy medicine, ear cleaner, even dog food and vet bills.  Will not pay the $80 'get-out-of-pound' fee any longer.  Come get him.

But then Mr. hears of somebody having an intruder enter their home.  "The dog stays," he says.

So he stays.  He scares away squirrels, the local groundhog, and various tomcats who torment our kitten.  He also scares the papergirl, the woman collecting for diabetes, and any potential cake customers who may come when the shop is closed. He steals the kids' breakfasts, barfs on the rug, gets ear infections in both ears (and therefore can't hear burglers), has major seasonal allergies, and steals pizza.

BUT, he's so sorry.  He loves me.  He follows me everywhere and needs me during a scary storm or when the kids go off to school, and he reminds me of times when we played 'catch the stick' at the beach.  He is greying now, and slow, and sleeps most of the time.  If we sent him anywhere, I'm sure he would die of heartache, and that I could not handle.  One night away from me in the pound showed me that.

So do I let him back inside tonight, out of the doghouse? Do I let him eat his supper even though he ate the neighbour's garbage? Will I look after him through the night as he gets sick in the backyard?  Umm, well, maybe not...

But I'll put an extra blanket in his doghouse and I'll let him in the house if it starts to thunder.

I can do that.

He needs me, you know.

Geriatrics, sheesh.


Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Beauty of Hands

Hands.  Five fingers, 14 knuckles, and five nails.  Some are tanned, some are fair, some have wrinkles, and some are soft and dimpled.  We wave with them, we greet with them.  Deal-making handshakes, secret handshakes, high fives, and fist pumps.

I hold my child's hand crossing the street, I pinky swear that I will bake her favourite cookies.  I pinch her cheek and tap her nose.

How many times have I created something beautiful with my hands?  We craft, draw, paint, cut, eat, and drink with them. We knead dough, form clay, sculpt and turn pottery.

You can tell a lot from someone's hands.

Worn hands from age, from weather and washing.  Mechanic's and welder's hands with permanent oil marks in their nails.  Wounds from tools under a workman's lazy eye.  Medics who wash away germs, dishwashers in steaming hot water each hour.  Housekeeps who sleep wearing gloves and hand lotion.

They are an extension of our looks.  Pretty nails, long and red, or trimmed nails, conservative and clean.  Nail biters, ingrown nails, and dry, chipped nails.
Rings galore, or one simple wedding band.  Or perhaps the remaining tan line of one.

Scolding finger, pointing finger, ring finger, pinky finger, swearing finger, sucking fingers (first 2 or one thumb).  We salut to our soldiers, hold our hearts during allegiance, and raise them to praise our Lord.
Shadow puppets, rabbit ears, talking hand, and an entire signing language.
Teeny tiny newborn hands, and large, grown man hands.

We rub them, snap with them, clap with them, wave them to the music.  We mitten them, carry with them, pet with them, and push and pull with them.

We love with them.  We fight with them.

Imagine yourself without hands.  Like the man on our street who will only nod to you when you wave hello.  His hands are replaced with metals clamps.  Yet he drives his van, he cares for his yard and home, and enjoys life with his family.  He is also a fantastic furniture refinisher.  His only worry, that I know of, is that he may scare the children.

Or the boy born with a defect in his fingers.  A sweet, sweet boy, who manages quite well in everything the other children do, without the freedom of all of his digits.  The other children hold his hands during circle games, and help him put his mittens on.  How long will it be before they won't hold his hands anymore?

Oh, the things we take for granted!  How I love my hands.  

In stories they are made of scissors and hooks, are seven-fingered, broken and mended, invisible, removed, and formed into a V.

And of course, in the Great Book, they were nailed.  The ultimate Potter.  He touched, mended, healed, lifted, praised, fed, nurtured, prayed and rebuked with his hands.  And then were wounded.

Hands.  They have to be one of the most used part of our bodies.  Except maybe the tongue - but that's another story.  How do you use yours?

Parenting...

I have no idea....

Seriously.

Sometimes I think I am winning and then, BOOM!!, she throws a curve ball or a wrench at me.  Yet how could I possibly love her more?  

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

ADD and the Crafty Internet

I have been perusing the blogosphere this winter as the cake business is in it's slow season and I am surprised by the many unfinished blog pages that are out there.  Their authors have stopped submitting posts for months, perhaps years, and they are left to dangle in the internet world, incomplete.  Where have these people gone? What has happened that the recipe they promised is not posted, or the details of their trip have gone missing?  Did they forget their password?  Are they hurt?  Are they DEAD?

I am also surprised by how many bloggers, upon returning, mention a mental illness, or a syndrome as an excuse for the long/short-term absence. "I'm so sorry I haven't written, as I have been in an emotional low right now," or "OMG, I can't believe it's been three months since I wrote, my ADD has certainly kicked in! LOL!"  Okay, I am slightly exaggerating, and realize that I may, in fact, fall under one of these categories if I am not careful.

I come from a long line of "starters."  We start something, fly high with it, and then, when we get bored, walk away from it, and leave it unfinished.  From ridiculous collections, to absurd hobbies, many in my family have tried several jobs, activities and projects only to be overcome with lethargy, and answer, "Oh, I'm not doing that anymore" to friendly inquiries.  Ebay has taken over several of these lives, and their purses.  Etsy is another, with all of its handmade wonderfulness.  But Pinterest has got to be one of the best feeders of us attention deficit and obsessive compulsive consumers.  We find ourselves clicking away, pinning and repinning our next project, our "get rich" scheme, and all the possible ways to DIY.  Delicious!  The living room fills with the tools we need: modge podge, hot pink yarn, various colours of felt, googly eyes, owl shaped buttons, and sisal rope.  My heart rate increases as I turn a rusty bowl into a piece of art, or knit a sweater that looks like a puppy.  How many ways can you turn a piece of paper into a flower?  Bags and bags of hot glue and cloth remnants cover the coffee tables.  By January, the vein in Mr. Man's forehead strains itself each time he walks into my "crafting corner."

I sincerely tried to complete most of my ideas.  Some I've completed but they fell apart.  Some I've thought I finished but realized I did not know how to knit.  "Oh, well, I guess I'll donate that..."  And yet some made great gifts for friends and family.  I will soon be known as that aunt who made the weird container gifts for Christmas.

But I promise I will continue to bless you, readers, with my nonsense.  I will work hard to not leave these pages unfinished and alone.  And if for some unforeseen reason I must take a permanent leave of absence I will leave Mr. Man with explicit instructions to announce the end of this blog.  I will not leave you hanging.

Consequently, I have since turned to craftgawker, foodie blogs and twitter.  Just as my father continues to collect tractor parts and bows down to the Massey-Harris god, and Mrs. Google continues to seek random information, perhaps I will become a foodie or a jewelry maker, and quit this silly cake business.  Hmmm.

And, if I am completely organized, you can hear all about it on my twitter account.  But don't tell Mr. Man.  His heart can't take it.

*****

The picture above contains one of my successful projects, a sisal rope basket (yes, the oranges are real.)



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